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About That Woman in Line in Seattle
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
In the entry below I described a really bad assumption I made while signing copies of Marley & Me at a Seattle-area bookstore last week. The young woman mentioned that reading Marley had helped her after she lost her fiance. I assumed by "lost" she meant "dumped." This did not come out of thin air. A suprising number of women over the past several months have made comments to me along this line: "My husband told me it was him or the dog. I lost the husband, kept the dog." And so I made a joke. Just moments after she had walked away, I realized that this woman was different from the others -- that she had lost her love another way.
I almost did not post the blog entry below, feeling it would be futile. What were the chances this stranger would stumble upon it? But I had to at least try to explain, and so late that night I posted the entry just before turning off the light. The next morning when I checked my email, one subject line popped out at me: "From the young woman in line in Seattle." The opening sentence read: "I AM the young woman from the line tonight in Seattle." In some karmic connection, she had happened to stumble onto my blog entry within hours of its posting. She explained that she went to my website to read the farewell column to Marley I have posted there. "Imagine my surprise when I hit the refresh button and happened to click on the blog and saw the title of your posting," she wrote me. "It was strange - before I even read further I somehow knew that the message was directed to me. But just to be sure - I waited til I saw the grey sweater part."
And then came absolution.
"I need you to know that you did nothing wrong tonight. You were correct though; my beloved fiance did pass away - Cancer. His service was just 4/15. I had seen your book recently and since I adore dogs and animals, thought it would be a good distraction for me. When I found out that Marley had already died - I was not sure if I could read the book at THIS time."
But she did read the book and come to the signing -- just 10 days after burying her fiance. And just in time for me to stick my foot in my mouth. I'm glad I had the chance to connect with her and let her know I had misunderstood. And for me to know she had understood my confusion.
She concluded her note: "You had mentioned in your book that although the destination is important, it is really all about the journey. This is how my fiance and I lived our lives. ... You don't know how much your book has touched me, especially during this time of grief. The fact that you tried to find me tonight and posted the message on the 'blog' blows me away. I consider it a small miracle."
I consider it a small miracle, too. To the young woman in line in Seattle, thank you for finding my blog, thank you for your understanding -- and please accept my sincere sympathy. -- John
posted by John Grogan at 7:25 PM
 
4 Comments:
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Wow. If there ever was a good use for the Internet, this is it.
JP - Feeder of "Charlotte" the Wonder Lab of Imminent Destruction
Having just finished your book and recently losing my Winston (more of a Westie than a Lab but with just as many stories), I am a mess.
I can't even begin to express my gratitude for the time you've taken to memorialize Marley in such a way that deems worthy.
So thank you. Thank you for giving me a voice through your experiences and Marley's charms. And for giving me a chance to grieve with laughter and tears, all in the same breath.
From one newspaper junkie to the next. Cheers.
Lacey
I got Marley & Me from my son as a Father's Day gift along with Anderson Cooper's Dispatches From the Edge: a Memoir of War, Disasters and Survival. While Cooper is a very competent broadcast journalist, I suspect you already know that you're light years ahead of him as a writer.
About a year ago, I paid $800 for an allegedly purebred Golden Labrador retriever from a Norco, California puppy mill. My wife picked him out to be a companion as I was coming out of retirement to return to work. Happy wasn't as neurotic as Marley, but besides being physically handicapped, my wife is emotionally disturbed and increasingly psychotic. Not unlike Jenny's post-partum depression, only worse. I had to take Happy back. No refund.
Long story short: we had a Japanese Shiba mix whose father I suspect may have been a German shepherd. Minnie was our house dog for 17 years before contracting abdominal cancer. Unlike you, I asked our Japanese veterinarian to remove Minnie's large, exterior tumor. It only extended her life about 6 months before she was like Marley in his latest stages: couldn't eat, could hardly stand, and was experiencing external bleeding. We gave Minnie an appropriate Buddhist funeral following her cremation and we still have some of her bones as a remembrance of a true family member that graced our home for nearly two decades.
I too laughed along with you and your family, especially during Marley's film debut but spent the last 3 chapters weeping, sobbing as you so warmly described Marley's end times. You will replace Mike Royko as my favorite columnist. Thanks for a terrific book. If it doesn't win some real writer prizes, I'll be astonished.
I really liked Marley and Me it was kind of sad at the end though it reminded me of whenmydog Buddy got put down. It also reminded me of how bonded you can get with your pets!
-Katie
P.S. i loved the movie!!!!!!!!!!