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The Half Centurion
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Thanks everyone for the kind and warm birthday greetings over on the message boards. You helped make my day a special one.
Yep, I turned 50 on Tuesday and managed to get through the day with only a moderate amount of angst. But it was definitely a different experience from turning 40 a decade ago (which I describe in Marley & Me). When I turned 40, I could still look in the mirror and honestly say, "Wow! I've had forty great years in which I grew up, made friends, got educated, got married, became a father, found a career I loved and had a lot of fun along the way. AND I'm not even halfway done living yet." (Assuming I'll make it past 80 as both my parents did.)
But turning 50 does not easily afford such optimism. I had to admit that the mid-point of my life was already behind me. Not many of us make it to 100. It was easy to look in the mirror and say, "Geez, it's all downhill from here." But my friends and family wouldn't let me wallow for too long. I banned Jenny from throwing me a party on the theory that turning 50 is an occasion for solemn mourning and self-pity, not hoopla. Instead, the whole family and my pals Dave and Sara took me out for dinner. Colleen made me not one but two homemade cards, the boys gave me a mini-amplifier for my electric guitar, and Jenny found me a cool Celtic stone cross for the garden. My publishers secured me an autographed early edition of Frank McCourt's "Angela's Ashes," a book I love. And my agent, Laurie, sent me a hilarious framed New Yorker cartoon showing a writer at his computer who says: "I wrote another 500 words. Can I have another cookie?" That would be me. Bribery works wonders on my productivity.
At any rate, I survived the day and woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly like I felt when I was a mere lad of 49. Hey, life goes on.
Thanks again for all the well wishes.
In other news, Jenny and I just returned from a three-day trip to Palm Beach where I appeared at a literacy fundraiser breakfast with the author Erica Jong, whose first book "Fear of Flying" has sold a phenomenal 18 million copies over the past 30-some years and whose latest book, "Seducing the Demon," is a candid memoir of the writer's life, which I'm reading and enjoying. Erica and her husband, Ken, were great company and a lot of fun to hang out with. The weather was spectacular, and Jenny and I got to drive past our old house at 345 Churchill Road, which I can happily report is in nicer condition than when we left it. The whole neighborhood is lookin' spiffy, and I'm told no longer has murders on a regular basis.
The best part about the trip? We entirely avoided the icy snowstorm that socked the Northeast Friday and Saturday. Now that's timing!
posted by John Grogan at 8:56 PM
 
9 Comments:
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Congratulationas Fellow Centurion!
John, I have to tell you that your book brought a 56 year old man down to sobbing in tears.
In 1999 we almost lost our beloved "Cassie" (a beautiful English Springer Spaniel)to cancer. I thought I had finished grieving for her then. This year my wife Diana and I finally put her down at age 18 on Januaty 30th.
Your book was a birthday gift to me in February. I couldn't put it down!
It also validated my sanity. In 1999 I had "lost my mind" and written the following letter to Cassie:
Thanksgiving
1999
This Thanksgiving I want to thank you, Cassie.
From the very start you came to us without any demands or worries. You loved us right away at just eight weeks of age, never hinting that you just might be missing your mother. We knew you were as sharp as a tack when you learned your lessons well. The only things you don’t know today are those that I failed to take the time to teach you.
Not ever having little ones of your own, you foster mothered many a kitten. I can still see you curled up on those cold winter nights with a kitten or two nestled in your warm thick coat. With all the patience of a saint, you let them bite and claw you to their heart’s content.
When I am down you comfort me. When I am happy you always share my joy. When I am sick you stand by with encouragement. When Jonathan and Jenny were away serving our country, I missed them terribly and you knew and consoled me with a warm nudge of your nose.
Always the protector of our home, you stand ready to sound the alarm and warn us of any approaching danger. I’ve never known you to soil our house even when we have left you alone for hours past my personal restroom interval. You relax me with your naps in the sun. You relax me with your naps in the shade. You relax me with your naps at the fireside. You relax me Cassie, and make me feel your world of comfort and contentment.
You’ve endured those humiliating probes at the vet clinic, the pills I’ve shoved down your throat and now with hundreds of stitches and half a dozen fewer breasts, you bounce right back and show us: Tail wags, licks and naps are where life’s at.
If this cancer has its way with you I promise to spare you pain. When your time is near, I’ll trust the look in your eye to guide me in comforting you and with dignity help you die.
Thank you Cassie, God’s wondrous creature, and grand friend.
Love,
John
I kept my promise to her this year. Rest in peace Cassie, Marley and all others...
Thank You John!
John Z.
Happy Belated birthday and a BIG thank you for Marley & Me. The heart and soul in your book was a balm for mine. I cried like a baby at the end, back on the hill holding my beloved Clari as she took her last breath, grateful for all she had brought me. Marley LOVED life with every inch of his being - a lesson we could all learn, even if that puts us in the 'subnormal' category.
Lorrie V.
Jefferson, WI
It's always fun to drive by places we used to live. I was wondering if you ever long for those sunny Florida days and think about moving back there? I know the snow is fun, but I myself would prefer just to visit it. I was born in Massachusetts but now live in California.
Hi John, Happy Birthday !!!
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Hello John Grogan,
my name is Vinícius .I am a Brazilian and I am 23 years old. Apologize for my rough English, but I use help of the translito online to translate my text, unfortunately I do not speak English as he wanted.
He would like saying that I am his fan and it is a great pleasure to be able to write for the Sir.
" Marley and I " gained my girlfriend of a friend in the Christmas. Name of my beloved is Betânia and studies librarianship. She also has one
labradora, one calls Girl, and is enormous! I have 5 it becomes tins (Ton, Manchinha, Puff, Costelinha and the only female of the house, Tchuli).
Be three months my girlfriend is asking in order that I read " Marley and I ", but always it was refusing, up to what of so much she insisted, I resolved to accept it
proposed. I caught the book in Saturday, thought in beginning in Sunday, but only in Monday in the afternoon, in the parking of a clinic
seated in the car waiting for my mother and my aunt, that I began to read. After almost 3 hours of discomfort and heat, them they returned how if they were returning of a shopping center, smiling like anybody, me I had not called so much the time, since I had already read practically half of the book and he was not seeing to the hour of arriving at home and later continuing my journey. At night, about 23horas, after arriving of the academy, I went away to lay and to continue my reading. I passed the Tuesday dawn woken practically, laughing and to each page me preoccupying more with it what would happen with Marley. Sincerely in the end of the book, them 03:20horas I saw myself with a pressure in sad heart because it had happened and for the great love whom you and all his family took as Marley. In the same hour I called Betânia, my girlfriend and woke it clearly, to say what had ended reading the book and what it was lovely, funny, extremely captivating, and also I used the onnection, since she lives in my city but spends the week out studying in a University to two hours of distance.
There said it she that would try to find some form of managing to get in touch with the Sir, since well, I entered in the site of the newspaper, but nothing was there, up to what I found this site. We are filled small however important act with enthusiasm by East for us! And to be able to get in touch, I am raising today this blogger, since it went to the only form of leaving my message.
His book is lovely and it inspired me and since I read it, I feel what I changed up to my way of seeing the animals, principally my "boys" hehe to each glance, each tail or their demonstration of fondness, I ask question of at least in spite of answering a gesture.
Obliged by the opportunity for knowing Marley and also his history, her part, like you himself said, because of having exposed his family also in the history. I have the dream and wait in the future near power to get married and to create my family, and it can believe what I not only learnt with Marley, but also, with his history with Lady Jenny, his wife, a relation of companionship, complicity and love.
Obliged by " Marley and me " and he knew very distant what, you have now 2 new fans!
They all keep God of his family and you.
A great embrace!
V & B.
john z
I was really moved by your open letter to your dear "Cassie". As you know the gift of friendship, loyalty and companionship, and yes even compassion,our sweet loving dogs(or furry family members) give freely to us, is a gift to cherish for our lifetime. Never do we forget the love they leave us with.I am fast approaching the time to say goodbyes to 2 of my labs. Both which will be turning 13 this yr. I hope I'll have the couarage and enough composure, to see it through to the end...and spend the last breaths with my dear Rose and Sam.(I have 3Labs,...Rose& Sam, and Gypsy,a yellow Lab, who will turn 9 next week)
I was so moved by John's book, that I sat down and wrote a long 3 page letter,to John, thanking him, for writing such a great book,(I have no idea if he ever got the letter...but I was so inspired , I had to write it!)about a Great dog,...Marley. I'm not much of a reader, but this book, I couldn't put down. Many thanks to John for the book, and he and his families love of Marley.
Janet
ps, a belated Happy B'Day to John. (I'm looking at 57 this Oct., but still feel like the old hippie I was in the 60's! Life is good!
Hello Janet,
I wish you well in the coming days as you tend to the needs of your beloved Rose and Sam. You must be an extremely special lady to give of yourself so much. What is required to care for two large geriatric dogs and another senior is more than an average person can endure.
You have some heart wrenching times just ahead but, I promise you there will be sweetness at some of the least expected moments.
Cassie was deaf and blind in her last two years with very achey hips. In one or two step intervals she laboriously climbed the stairs to bed each night after me. Humans rarely exibit such loyalty.
I let her coat go in those last months thinking: "What is the point?"
On her final day I came home early so as to have the time to give her a bath and comb her out one last time.
The events of that afternoon will forever be sealed in my memory:
With the vet appointment scheduled for 5:45 PM, I arrived home at 3 PM in order to have enough time with her. Just after I got her in the bath the phone rang. It was a florist shop trying to catch us home for a delivery. I told them to come ahead before 5 PM and hung up the phone wondering who would be sending flowers and why? I finished bathing Cassie and just got her towel dry when the florist driver arrived.
A small, dainty, very feminine bouquet of flowers were unwrapped with a note from my sister expressing sympathies for our loss. The dam burst. Months of agony laced with indecision and now these perfect for her flowers had finally brought me to tears.
Cassie absolutely loved to be combed! I had some what forgotten just how much. For the next half hour she leaned into me as I swabbed out her ears with cotton balls soaked in ear cleanser, combed her sides and ran the brush down her back as she arched herself in luxury and gave that all too familiar shiver at her hips as I passed that sweet spot at the base of her spine. We were a symphony of touch and mutual appreciation. Her coat was never so spectacular when we finished.
She loved every second and so did I.
Diana arrived home just in time for us to leave for our vet appointment. Cassie cooperated perfectly as the tech started the IV (for eighteen years she always was the perfect example at the vet's). We held her snuggly and felt her relax into that eternal sleep with all four of us in tears.
They are all unique in every way. Ther will never be another Cassie, nor another Rose, Sam, Gypsy or Marley.
We all should be honored to know them even if it is for just a little while.
Take care Janet,
--John Z
Hey Jonh,
My name is Carol, i´m from Brazil!
I loved your book!
I´m finished right now, and this is the first think that i do now! Write for you to say congratulations!!!!
Your book is simply wonderful! I cried very reading its history, because he is pretty and simple. Until the things most banal if they become very important when we stop to perceive that they are the time there all.
I do journalism here, and now I know how much it is important to write to not only keep the informed reader, but to the times to demonstrate to opinion and feeling on definitive subjects.
I ask for excuses for my bad English. I liveed for four months in the United States, I very learned but it enough not to write a letter! E I am thankful for the lesson that can be taken off of its book. Marley, the incorrigible dog was without doubts the best dog of the world.
Say hi to Jenny and the childrens!
Love,
Carol